wikiofstufffandomcom-20200214-history
The Ballsack Machine
The Ballsack Machine was a failed high school science project created by Godzilla High School students Akira Yamaoka, Ayoka Yamakira, and an unknown male assailant who was usually seen wearing a strange (and likely sexual) yellow, fuzzy suit. The machine was designed to create artificial organic scrotums holding testicles from which sperm could be extracted as a means of reproducing when the entire male gender becomes homosexual in the year 2037. The three students were unaware that their attempt at building such a machine would deprive them of their own genitalia, as well as their entire reproductive systems. How Did It Work? The machine's sole source of energy was that purple gooey shit that got all over the walls in The Cat In The Hat. It is unclear what the structural composition of the machine was, but it is clear that the machine absorbed DNA, hormones, and nutrients from Yamakira's belly button, waste was despensed as green goo from a pipe at the bottom of the machine, and a pair of testicles encased safely in a scrtotum was expected to be despensed from a large anus on the side of the machine. Toilet paper was kept at the scene so that the students would not have to grab the scrotums with their bare hands. If a pair of testicles was deemed useless for whatever reason, it was given to the student in the yellow fetish suit to add to his collection of testicles. In an interview, Yakaoka once said, "This is gonna be some big-ass shit. Nobody's never attempted no shit like this shit before." Strangely, Yamaoka said this in an Italian accent, although he was Japanese. Many theorists believe that he had lost some brain cells working with fumes in his experiments to create ballsacks, leading him to believe that he was Luigi from Mario. The Accident According to many scholars and other smart-ass people, the machine would have worked perfectly if it were used correctly. However, the tragic mistake made by the students was that the DNA, hormones, and nutrients were absorbed from the bellybutton of Ayoka Yamakira, the female ''student. The machine was meant to absorb hormones from only ''males because females do not have enough testosterone to promote the growth of testicles. This totally fucked the machine up. They did not realize anything was wrong at first, but when they had anticipated a ballsack to pop out of the machine's anus, what really popped out of that asshole was something much much worse... ...the crazy bitch from Misery. At first, she seemed kinda nice to the 3 students, so they hung out with her that weekend. She baked them a cake and then cut off their genitals wheh they were watching Scooby Doo and then pulled their entire reproducive systems from their bodies. Dat bitch got shot. The medical bill for the 3 students was, amazingly only 69 dollars. According to Godzilla Hospital, this was because Akira and the guy with the fetish suit had once been... ''"entertainers" ''for one of the doctors who treated their wounds... And ''THIS ''Is What I Meant By Entertainers Go ahead and let this photo sink in... This photo caused much controversy when it surfaced on Facebook. It depicts Akira and the man who normally wore the fetish suit apparently dressed for an occupation they held three months prior to the creation of the Ballsack Machine. Though the two men refuse to speak on what this photo actually depicts, it is commonly believed that the photograph depicts their employment at Jackie Chan's Sexual Emporium. If this were the case, the two men were likely already homosexual and actually sought to create testicles for their own enjoyment. This would explain why the guy in the fetish suit kept a collection of testicles. According to Ayoka Yamakira in an interview, Akira and the fetish suit guy had once been instructed to entertain her at the emporium, but neither of them could become aroused enough to entertain a woman. Some speculate, however, that Ayoka is just a bitch on an unending period and that she is just saying this shit for publicity.